Navigating the Knife’s Edge: Living with CPTSD

The Friday Edition | No. 42

Navigating the Knife’s Edge: Living with CPTSD

Living with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) often feels like teetering on a knife’s edge, where the world can seem cold and unforgiving. Recently, I found myself faced with this truth. My streak of time feeling somewhat confident, normal, and moving in a positive direction met the cold, harsh reality of old triggers, chaotic thoughts, and catastrophic thinking that took me to a very dark place.

In these moments, I was plunged into a familiar yet terrifying world. A place where life’s harsh realities confronted me at every turn. It was here I saw the truth of everything; a space without cushion or solace. A deep dark cavern of cold hard truths where all attempts to cover over the harshness of life, create a sense of normalcy, or falsly believe things would be different were flimsy veils to the reality of existence.

Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage.

_Rainer Maria Rilke, “Letters to a Young Poet”