The "Tells" of Complex Trauma and Chaos

The Friday Edition | No. 11

The “Tells” of Complex Trauma and Chaos

At some point in your healing journey, you will come to face to face with the parts and pieces of who you are or think yourself to be. Complex trauma waits on no one and just carries on as the dysfunctional chaos creator that reigns over your life. This chaos is a tell, however. It is the way toward what is in pain. It is your internalized world answering – and pointing to where it hurts.

Much of what is arising is ready for healing – is ready to be seen – has risen into consciousness from the subconscious. There may be much in the subconscious that is still submerged, hidden, and not able to come to the surface. Fear and self-preservation are the gatekeepers between our subconscious and conscious worlds. As you heal and fears slowly subside or the need for vigilance and safety begins to dissolve then more will be revealed.

Life is an onion and one cries while peeling it.

_French Proverb

If this sounds daunting and overwhelming – it is. Complex trauma is a difficult cross to bear but sometimes, it is necessary to jump into your ocean of chaos and complexity. You must accept your own dysfunctional and elite ways of surviving and acting out your life. For it is acting. It is a complex narrative of characters and triggers and pieced-together storylines that play out before us and within us. Those with CPTSD know all too well that we can leave the house in the morning feeling fine until an unknown quantity enters the scene and our world is turned upside down. Taken from the present and deftly spun into a past story with tentacles reaching into all areas of our being – we are triggered. Hijacked and confused our old safeguards, dog-eared stories, long-held reactions and ways of surviving a similar situation from our past is now our life script again.