Stop Doing the Emotional Work for Others – It’s Not Your Job!

The Friday Edition | No. 54

Stop Doing the Emotional Work for Others – It’s Not Your Job!

Years ago, a couples therapist told me to stop doing the emotional work for my husband (now ex-husband). At the time, her words caught me off guard – I wasn’t even sure what she meant. But unraveling that comment became a profound turning point. It forced me to see just how much of myself I had poured into managing others' emotions while neglecting my own. As I worked to undo this pattern and rebuild, I realized it wasn’t just about my marriage – it was tangled in deep-rooted conditioning, the remnants of past programming by my narcissistic mother and enabling father and family, that I had to face and unlearn.

One of the hardest truths to accept after long-term abuse and trauma is that other people’s emotions are not your responsibility.