On Monday’s HeartBalm Healing Newsletter and Podcast, I spoke on the topic of being mirrored in the grace of nature. The “Nature Transparency” picture above is a healing visual extension of that concept which I will attempt to explain further. If you missed Monday’s offering, please click here to view or listen to this release in its entirety.
If you’re new to hiking or do not spend endless hours and days in nature as I have done :-) I offer you some of my “Notes From Nature” for your pleasure and to hopefully inspire you to find time to melt into the open arms and grace of wild spaces.
Too many days and treks to count now. So many times, I hiked the two and a half miles up to the top of my mountain; to almost 6,000 feet elevation, and once at the peak I would spread out my pack on the hard stone seat, take off my shoes, and socks, and let my sore feet take in the cold, solid comfort of the limestone cliff that I was perched on; grounding myself into the depths and breadth of the mountain itself. Sweaty and hot from the hike I’d take out my water – still cold in the metal bottle, and quench my thirst. I could feel the wind coming up the mountainside cooling me and humbly sharing every bit of its life and breath with me. The generosity here was always a given – unapologetically so. I always felt at home, connected, welcomed, and part of the family of things more than anywhere else I had ever known.
The sun was usually still shining and warm on my skin, and the mountain and all its comforts cooled me off from my long vertical journey. Ravens danced around me in the wind currents above spinning through the valley below and up the layers of mountains in every direction. They would circle above and then just as quickly tuck their wings and flip over to make a deep dive, gurgling a quick, deep guttural sound, that always makes me smile, and then turn back over, find their wings, and off they’d fly. Time and time again this shining black poetry with wings would soar, flip, gurgle, dive, and then turn back over to rise and start again. What fun they were having – dancing in the air unafraid and unconcerned with anything – just living in the carefree bliss of the moment.
Chipmunks would come scurrying up to me and then realize I wasn’t just a rock or a tree. They’d stop for a minute and stare. Their little whiskers and hands shaking like excited little men on a mission of some great mystery. And, then with a flick of their stubby little tail turn and dash off.
_Sunny Lynn, HeartBalm
Little birds would fly towards me in undulating lines and land on a branch nearby. I would hear them whistling softly and wonder if they wanted to come closer. I tried to open my heart and say hello – to make them feel as welcome as I felt on the mountain. Sometimes they dared a closer look but then off again finding the line of dips and darts until they found another branch to rest on.
There are times when I get to the top of the mountain after a long day or week, and I just sit and let my heart break open, and linger in the infinite expanse of grace and magnificence. Sometimes, the feeling of sadness to leave is so overwhelming that I think I may never be able to go back down. I could just put up a teepee or tent and stay there forever. But I know I can’t – at some point, I must put my shoes back on, refill my backpack and begin the cool journey back down the trail. Sometimes I wonder if I could bottle the feeling that I feel up there and bring it down with me to drink or infuse myself with, and make life easier among the chaos of daily life, and all of the people and their demands, falsehoods, and inconsistencies. I’ve tried but haven’t figured out yet how to capture the beauty of my mountain, the essence of being at one with everything, welcomed, completely trusting, at home, and let that guide me throughout my days on the horizontal, concrete ground of daily living.
Walking through nature, hiking a mountain trail, smelling the evergreen trees and blossoming flowers, the rich candied earthy aroma that invigorates and surprises my senses I am transported and renewed. It is here that I understand that nothing is personal.
Every fierce thunderstorm and abrupt, startling snow squall that leaves me unprepared, shaking, and scared where I stand is not personal. It just is.
Miles upon miles of walking and being with this natural world has proven to me that nothing is intentionally out to hurt me. Every roaming bumble bee, spikey thistles leaning over my path, or mother bird threatening me as I get closer to her hidden nest, teaches me that nature does not come looking for me. It is not against me. It does not hate or dislike me. It is just being.
The trees and rocks and birds and bugs that surround me are just being trees and rocks and birds and bugs. They are just doing what they do without reference to me in any way. I feel the grand scope of this scene and the pure insignificance of my human form that it alerts my attention but something even bigger arises. It highlights and offers me total freedom and joy to just be – pure awareness, captured completely in the present moment with no reference to any past or any future moments to come – I am just immersed in now.
I have found that I can bring this non-personal approach into my daily life – bringing the curiosity of a bird singing its morning song at first light into feelings, sensations, pain, depression, and other areas within me that need attention. This allows me to hold these feelings and pains with wonder, and curiosity, and to open my heart and my ears to listen to the chirping and singing of the bird with its beautiful, no-nonsense, non-personal message for me.
Throughout life’s hardships, traumas, and betrayals, nature has been my definitive teacher to understand and meet life differently, and see my life and the world from a new perspective. My favorite poem called “Self-Pity” by D.H. Lawrence reminds me of the essential qualities of nature and being:
I never saw a wild thing
sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough
Without ever having felt sorry for itself.
_D.H. Lawrence
I walk through life now, or as much as I can, with this poem in mind, and the bravery of the small bird that just lives life, inhabits life wholly as a bird and does bird things, and doesn’t worry about what’s personal or not. No self-pity for what it doesn’t have, what it may have lost, or the pain or hunger it feels. It just does and it just is. It eats when it’s hungry, and sleeps when it’s tired. In the same way, my life is just to be me without apology, regret, or self-pity – no more and no less, as is everyone’s explicit missive. There is nothing personal out to get us. Nature shows us that every day, and in everything that it is.
This beautiful grace inspired me years ago to create a “Nature Transparency” out of one of my favorite photos, taken in Western Montana on top of a very tall butte, as a reminder never to forget that I am always mirrored in the grace of nature and that whatever happens in nature is not a personal attack. There is never blame, revenge, or anger seeking me out, nature is just doing what nature does and I am grateful to be there to witness the absolute oneness with all things, this authentic, unconditionally loving, impersonal mystery of life dancing to meet me. It is also a reminder to walk in this same space in my daily life and stay merged with the wild things, and the truth of all that is. The “Nature Transparency” (shown above) is my attempt at trying to capture and “bottle” the essence of nature’s beauty, grace, wisdom, teachings, and unconditional love.
The photo above is unaltered from when I first put it together in 2014. This is a very personal creative form of healing that I want to share with you. I hope it resonates with you, and you carry it with you - drink from it – and let it heal and infuse you as you go about your daily life. Let it inspire you to create a transparency that speaks directly to you. Use it as a daily meditation for living fully, being as the raven – carefree, diving and dancing in your life, and giggling along the way – happy to just be. I hope you take time to appreciate, and sing and dance with nature – the earth that is our home, our reason for being, living, and breathing, and that you can feel its magnificence, and the beautiful blessing we are allowed to witness, be a part of and call home.
Thank you for joining me sweet one. Go for a hike in nature and feel adored. I love you.
HeartBalm is a free weekly newsletter with meditations, trauma-informed topics and healing options, poetry, nature tidbits, other musings, and Q&A opportunities. If you love it, subscribe here to receive future posts in your inbox or consider supporting it financially with a monthly, or annual member subscription. The work I create and offer here is reader-supported and therefore ad-free. Thank you kindred spirits - I love that you are joining me on this beautiful journey and am grateful for your presence and being <3
HeartBalm | Notes From Nature