How to Hold Your Light When the World Wants Your Soul
Collapsing into the frequency of humanity, into the feelings of helplessness that permeate this time, is a powerful pull. The experience is subtle, almost deceptive, because outwardly I look like everyone else. Yet, inside I do not feel the same. There is a learned helplessness here – this quiet, insidious force that creeps in after repeated attempts to change things have failed. It trains us to believe that nothing we do can alter the course we are on. And so, we stop trying. This helplessness seems to feed on itself, creating a cycle where apathy and unconsciousness reign. We may all notice it – sense its weight pressing down – but even in our awareness, confusion remains. What can be done? The masses seem to march along a path that is mindless, unyielding, without ways to break through or find openings for change.
I often ask myself, what can I do about it? But I am overwhelmed by this zombie-like state of existence. Glazed eyes and closed hearts move in lockstep, marching to the beat of materialism. The world promises a better future through things – through endless achievement, acquisition, and consumption. Yet, all these pursuits leave behind is destruction. It is a cycle of mindless striving, exploiting, consuming. And while the devastation mounts, the promised finish line of success and riches remains elusive.
I struggle to be here in this mess – watching, experiencing, alone. I see clearly. I feel deeply. I have compassion, empathy, concern. I find myself with few comrades on this journey, yet Rilke’s words remind me that...
The only journey is the one within.
Holding a higher frequency in this world feels like lifting a planet over my head. I know that simply holding my vibration, and allowing a higher frequency is enough. But maintaining it feels impossible at times – a constant struggle between what my eyes see and what my heart calls for. When I let go of seeing – when I silence the mind’s fears, cautions, and questions, and stop focusing on the chaos and inhumanity around me – I can rise to a higher state of love and freedom. Yet, it always feels like a back-and-forth experience. Years of childhood and adult trauma can loosen the ability to trust and hold space for goodness to show up and remain constant. The darkness presses in, threatening to consume the light. It feels like a game of will, a journey meant to stretch, expand, and evolve my inner knowing – my truth of this present reality.
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