Beyond the Veil

Beyond the Veil

Early one morning as my mind began to slowly awaken, I noticed my life was being planned out ahead of me. My mind was busy creating and organizing the day ahead, the coming weeks, even months, and into the next year. So many expectations, things to do and accomplish; desires, wants, needs, and thoughts about other peoples’ opinions and beliefs about my life. All happening before I was even out of bed; before opening my eyes. When I became aware of what was going on I could see how my subconscious mind was preloading my future experience – my future day and life. Loading up and laying out the potential schedule of doings and goings that would meet with my safety and security, my qualifying standards, the life I wanted and completely align with my idealized persona. An automatic subconscious world already at work to handling any possible outcome in my future as dictated by my beliefs – past, present, and future. It was here that I became aware of all this mental construction and here that I let it go. Like holding a balloon for days and weeks, and then finally letting the string slowly slip free from my grip and float away. My mind, my hands empty now – open to this NOW moment and everything arising. Yet, in true habitual fashion, my inner organizer returned and began again. But I was onto her now. I came back to the moment, feeling my face on the pillow, the warmth of my resting place, the blankets snugly formed around me and hearing the soft hum of a fan.

I know I had been there so many times before in the trance of past and future. My ego mind dictating and creating images of a future world that would outmaneuver scary events of the past from recurring, match expectations and meet with others’ approval. Luckily, I had enough awareness on that half-asleep morning and could see the game afoot, and when I saw it clearly – it all fell apart.

Life is a preparation for the future; and the best preparation for the future is to live as if there were none.

_Albert Einstein, “The World as I See It”

There is a veil that is created and grows thicker and stronger the older we get. A way of masking our authentic self and creating a world that keeps us safe from a scary past, and securing a safe future. I have heard it said that our personality is our mask – a defensive barrier that we create against the world. Our way of protecting ourselves, hiding, altering our true being to do what others expect, or to fit in when our own singular, creative nature does not suit those around us. We live and die with our personality intact unless we begin to see behind the veil.