Photo: A tree finds it way into the driver's seat of a defunct VW Beetle. Poulsbo, WA (2016). Copyright SJPhotographyEnjoy this free REPLAY of a HeartBalm Healing “oldie but a goodie” podcast.
Who’s Driving the Mind? Taking Back the Driver’s Seat
There are mornings when I first wake when an intrusive fearful thought, and then two and then three begin to squeeze between my just waking moments and my want to sleep longer, and then rudely elbows me to awaken more fully.
These thoughts are like dominoes that begin to fall one after another, and in my half-asleep state, I follow them. Like a child in footed pajamas, dragging my teddy bear along I sleepily toddle along behind them thinking they know best, they know what they are talking about, and where we are going. I follow like a little soldier thinking that my mind has some important mission we must attend to.
We’ve all been in these places in the early morning or throughout our day when we are not quite fully aware, or in the default setting of half-conscious living. We find ourselves following our worrying thoughts and then before we know it, we are lost in the haze of random meanderings that begin to elbow us in the ribs to pay attention, and we alight with a variety of feelings and emotions that have shifted our state from open-hearted to worry, fear, anger, or even worse: fight, flight, freeze or fawn.
It is no wonder we are all so exhausted, and struggle to find time to come home to ourselves, be present, stand up to our controlling voices, and cut through the jungle of old and new thoughts to find ourselves again. This ain’t easy!
Juggling life, relationships, home, and work commitments, social and political injustices, sorting truth from lies, and trying to manage the algorithms and data points that have taken over our lives without our permission is overwhelming. In addition to that, we must manage our physical body, mental and emotional well-being, be mindful, and conscious, and find time for ourselves amidst it all.
It is a herculean task sweet one!
Unless you take this moment to remember that who you truly are is love,
who you are is pure source consciousness,
who you are is the light reflecting back to you from the vast cosmos of sun and stars above,
who you are is made of stardust.
As author and poet Nikita Gill soulfully writes,
We have calcium in our bones.
Iron in our veins,
carbon in our souls,
and nitrogen in our brains.
93 percent stardust,
with souls made of flames,
we are all just stars
that have people names.
_Nikita Gill, “93 Percent Stardust” from “Your Soul is a River”
When we begin to get sucked back into the chaos and storms of our thoughts and the driving mind we lose sight of our precious commodity of presence, of the gentle commitment to our self, our heart, and our being – the shining parts of us awaiting our own precious company, always happy to have us near, ready to hold us and hear us. It is this sweet mystery within that we forget about sometimes. The one that sees no faults in you or how you navigated your day or didn’t complete all of the things you had planned or said something you shouldn’t have said.
The external world is a void of endless roads, diversions, trials and errors, missteps, and overwhelming experiences. It is easy to get lost “out there.” We can find ourselves losing sight of our own internal landscape and looking for solid ground, our loving voice, and compassionate heart – afraid that we have strayed too far this time. Do not give up sweet one!
For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love.
This is when we renew our commitment to ourselves – to come home to our practice of self-love, mindfulness, and heart-centered space of living.
It is called a practice for a reason – it takes repetition, rehearsal, preparation, a promise to keep trying, finding what works, developing habits that meet you and fit you and your life, and then editing when needed, adding or letting go.
It is a practice that grows and evolves with you as you grow and evolve.
It is a vital practice of creating time each day to be in the driver’s seat, and be the master of the mind instead of letting our mind drive us.
It is shifting our awareness by holding ourselves as the loving beings that we are, inputting caring, healing, supportive thoughts, images, and ideas into our internal atmosphere so that every breath resonates with the immense cosmos that is within us.
It is listening to songs that move you and help you breathe more deeply as each hopeful note brings fire to your frozen heart and chills to your softening body.
Or listening to a favorite podcast or motivational speaker that reminds you of your infinite heart and gifts you with thoughts of unconditional love to drown out all others.
Reminders of your strength to hold and see yourself as sacred, beautiful, worthy, and overflowing with love.
Or watching an inspirational documentary or movie that fills your lungs with an infinite capacity for compassion, empathy, connection, and faith in our world and every living, breathing being that exists here in the world right now – today.
Or making time to meet with friends or loved ones to catch up, appreciate each other, and remind yourself of how loved you are and how much you love.
Or doing something that you love to do – write, create, explore, or remember your sense of awe and wonder at your favorite places and travels.
Or renewing your meditation practice that brings vast breath to your lungs, clarity of thought to your mind, healing, and release to your body, and a space of expansiveness to your being. All showing you your infinite reach and your oneness with all things – your connection and belonging to this universal family.
Or remembering your truth as Rumi said:
You are the soul – of the soul – of the universe, and your name is Love.
When we recommit to our heart and our sweet sensitive self we can feel the truth of the love that we are – bolstering our strength, reminding us that we are found – we are home again and have our safe place to fall.
This is the marrow in our bones – the exquisite knowing that we have opened back to the safe haven of our being as it showers us with relief, understanding, and peace. There will always be time for worry, fear, and sorrow but choose now to hold yourself in your haven of love, contentment, worthiness, and acceptance within your safe borders – within the entire kind universe of your being.
Begin your practice by becoming aware of and writing down the recipes or formulas that work to shift your thoughts and awareness into a more loving and caring state. I have found that in the mornings if my thoughts are up before me and beginning to harass me, I have a go-to, short list of guided meditations I can choose from.
These are often followed by a favorite playlist of songs that hold a higher vibration and infuse me with peaceful, loving “thought settings” as I get ready for my day.
I also have motivational statements that I have recorded on my phone’s voice memo app that are also helpful to focus my intentions, states of gratitude and appreciation, and my mind for the day ahead.
I have calendar reminders that alert me throughout the day with my favorite inspirational thoughts, affirmations, or quotes.
I also have a toolbox of items to use when my life is at different stages of ups and downs; easy-going to 911 emergency situations.
If I let my practice slip – as we all do when life gets hectic or demands more of us than we can manage – I find myself falling back into lower vibrational thoughts and patterns and then it’s a spiral downward.
As someone with Complex PTSD, I find that my practice of presence and mindfulness is critical to life balance and what keeps me centered, grounded, and in harmony with life. When I have slipped out of my practice for too long the results can be devastating, sometimes I am thrown out of myself without warning and I have to find my way back, which can be retraumatizing.
My practice has helped me find my way back more quickly and more confidently over time, and given me a confident knowledge that I will be ok. I wouldn’t have known this, however, had I not been developing a heart-centered practice and seen the contrast between actively practicing self-love versus not doing anything, and then finding myself in the deep downward spirals of life.
As there was little help in mainstream medicine, I became my own guinea pig in the experiment of finding solace, peace, and balance in this world of embodied living. This is where I found the thread of consistency, truth, tenderness, and source of complete and unconditional love.
In a world that didn’t offer me that as a child or in my family this was an exceptional find and it was all within me – I just had to believe in myself enough to open to the truth of my innate wisdom and loving heart. I would emphasize a practice of self-love and mindfulness for anyone, especially for those who struggle with CPTSD, PTSD, trauma, depression, stress, or anxiety. For more info on CPTSD please refer to my past article titled “Courage, Self-Love and Complex Trauma”.
We prepare for so many things in our life – why can’t we prepare for our own happiness, and peace, and remind ourselves of the love that we are as a rule rather than a forgotten truth that we have to hunt for and unearth again and again. This precious gem of who we are, this infinite source of love, wisdom, and peace is always present – never diminishes, and is always available to us.
If we practice mindfulness, we always have a place to be when we are afraid.
_Thich Nhat Hanh, “The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation”
Whether you have drifted away from yourself or are developing your own practice of mindfulness let me be your reminder sweet one that you are deserving, you are loved, and there is stardust running through your veins and galaxies swirling in your soul. Live like the immense guiding star that you are. Embrace the fierce blaze within you that lights the sky and can travel billions of light years and still keep shining.
On that note – let me share with you a brief morning musing to transfer your just-waking thoughts from tyranny to tranquility. I will be sharing more mighty but mini-musings in the days and weeks ahead so keep a look out for those. In the meantime, let this be a template for creating your own morning message using your voice memo app on your phone, and recording your own loving wake-up note to yourself.
Jump to the 12:55 minute mark in the podcast for a mighty morning musing to begin your day with love, gratitude, and appreciation for your life and set the tone for your day with you seated firmly in the driver’s seat, sweet one.
To read or explore more reference the resource list from this episode of HeartBalm Healing:
Nikita Gill, “93 Percent Stardust” from “Your Soul is a River”
Thich Nhat Hanh, “The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation”
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