A Tale of Two Selves

The Silent Struggle of CPTSD

A Tale of Two Selves: The Silent Struggle of CPTSD

You may often feel like there’s a quiet war inside you, and you may be the only one who knows it. You live with two selves - one that is breaking, hollowed out by the weight of trauma and pain, and the other that’s fighting to keep going, to keep showing up when all you want to do is fall apart.

I know that feeling well. There's a part of me, too, that feels like it’s on the edge most days. It’s the part that is worn out by years of surviving, by always holding it together when the inside feels like it’s cracking open. That part whispers, I can't do this anymore.

It aches and weeps with exhaustion, with memories that don’t leave, with triggers that never relent, with a life and a world that doesn’t seem to care.

And then, there’s the other part - the professional part, the part that says, I have to keep going. I have to get through this. I can’t let anyone see the truth. This side of you keeps the mask up, keeps showing up for work, for your responsibilities, pretending that everything is fine, even though you’re anything but.

I know what it feels like to wear that mask. It’s brutal to have to hold these two versions of yourself in the same space, pretending to be one thing while something else is unraveling quietly beneath the surface.

You are not a broken thing. You are a woman in need of healing.

_Samantha King, Born to Love, Cursed to Feel